My best friend is coming today! I’m pretty excited, for sure. But I’m a little nervous too. (And she’ll probably read this and think I’m nuts for thinking this way.)
We’ve been friends since we met at Dixie 4-H club when I was 9! I’ll just say that’s the majority of our lives, and leave it at that. Growing up we could go long times without seeing each other and still pick up with the same conversation… That could be because we only had about 3 topics we ever talked about, but who knows, right?! And the truth is I am certain we are still close enough to pick right back up where we left off over a year ago when we were last together. I just worry.
I worry I’ll be boring now. You see, this sister friend has a career. She doesn’t have children and doesn’t really care to have any kiddos soon either. I haven’t worked outside the home in 3.5 years. I chase babies and change diapers; and *gasp* want more than the typical 2 kids. What will we talk about?
She’s traveled. Australia, Africa, Spain, Germany… She has even addressed Congress in Washington DC! (Yea, I know. This chick is AMAZING!) I’ve….had 2 kids and just got a new dog…. Kinda dull in comparison.
She won’t care. We’ll still discuss our dogs, and other pets. We’ll laugh at the same stories and jokes. It’ll be a fabulous visit, but her coming made me realize why we, young moms, want our friends to have babies so badly.
I get it; you’re perfectly happy not having children. You’re happy to travel, work, have fun, all with no kids in tow. I can totally understand that. So, when I ask or (more common for me) wonder to myself “when are you going to have kids?” I’m not being nosey, really. I’m being selfish. Ha! So much better, right?? It’s true.
It isn’t that I can’t see how you’re happy without kids; the problem is I only know two topics: Gracie, and Skeet. I want to have something in common. I want to discuss childhood phases. Hear your ideas. Bounce around ways to deal with fits, potty training, bad habits, poor influences, and all those other things that are familiar to me. And I want to discuss those things with my friends.
So, we ask: When are you having a baby? It isn’t to be nosey. It isn’t to hurt you if you are trying unsuccessfully (if we knew that, we’d never, ever ask!) It isn’t because we don’t think you can be happy with no kids. It really is just selfish. We want to fit in the conversation again. We want to share this experience. That’s all. Try to understand our side too.